
Recent developments at work that happened while I've been away have only strengthened my resolve to start opening some doors in case I find myself needing to go through one. They've also put me in a position of having to spend at least a little time today thinking about work issues and sending out a few emails to get people prepared for the blitz I'll be beginning when I get back next week. I really want to find a way to make this project at work succeed despite the obstacles piled in front of me and the lack of support from almost all sides. Not just so I can get credit for it (the way things are going I won't get credit for the victory no matter how many more hours I pour in and how much more talent I bring to bear, but even if no one else really knows how much I've done, I know). Not just because finding a way to wring success out of this impossibility would also mean I could stay in this job. But also because that's what's best for my employer and for the state.
That said, if I can't make it work, that only proves we don't live in a movie with a guaranteed happy ending, and if people undercut and subvert something long enough, wait long enough to make needed decisions, and offer too little support for too much demands, things can fail no matter how hard people like me work or how smart we are. It won't make me feel like I failed, any more than it does to know I can't compete in the Olympics or flap my wings and fly to Mars.
Oh, and I also hope to play some Rock Band this weekend. And buy a snowblower. And go donate blood. And if there's time left, solve the world's political problems and develop a clean cheap source of unlimited energy. Maybe even watch a movie!
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